I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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