Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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