when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
