dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize