She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
