I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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