why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
