Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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