And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
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Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
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I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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