Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
