He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
