Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
