with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
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I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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