We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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