I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
