gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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