yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
