just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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