so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
