R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
