I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
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