Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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