It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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