i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
