So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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