there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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