I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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