He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I am naked and annoyed.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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