It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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