Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
