what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
