Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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