Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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