Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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