I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
this will be a night to untag.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
