hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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