$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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