I saw his package. It spoke to me.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
