What a fucking waste of an outfit
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
