great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
