did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
