I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Randomize
