This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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