pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
