I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
