I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
