Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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