just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Soap is not a condiment
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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