come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
