He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
