I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
