and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
