a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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