Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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