$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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