Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
