So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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