When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
