sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
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