Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
