no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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