he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
