Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
