Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
