So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
