I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
love makes seman taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
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