I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
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