your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
