I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize