Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
