You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
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I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
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Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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